Space Knights
Space Knights '''(spay-s-ni-eet-s) or '''Badassus Fighteth Guysius are foremost amongst the defenders of teh Space Guys, the greatest of the Space King's fighter dudes. They are barely human at all, but AWESOME; in fact they're so fucking awesome they are by far superior in all respects to a fucking norm by a harsh regime of genetic modification, genetic fuckery, time-fuckery, psycho-conditioning, psychic conditioning, psychotic-conditioning, brainwashing, hot brainwashing, rigorous physical training, super physical training, gravity chamber training, time-chamber training, and being made fun of constantly (this makes them MAD.) Space Knights are untouched by plague or any natural disease, can totally beat a bear, whale, shark, whaleshark, gorilla, pack of wolves, and infinite toddlers in a fight and can suffer wounds that would kill a lesser being several times over, and live to fight again; stuff like GETTING ALL THEIR ARMS RIPPED OFF BY GORILLAS (if a gorialla even COULD rip their arms off,) blown up by nukular bombs, shot with the golden gun , smashed by a super large planet or THE MOON, fighting for a whole year straight against billions of ORCS, and other cool things like that. Clad in ancient, super ultra cool Space Knight Armor that is indestrucctibel and has jet-packs and gun turrets and HUUUUUUUGE SHOULDER PADS FUCK YEAH and wielding the most potent weapons known to the Guys LIKE ROCKET LAUNCHER MACHINE GUNS AND SUPER EXPLODER BOMBS AND LASERS ,, the Space Knights are terrifying foes and their devotion to the Space King and the Space Knight Empire is unyielding. They are the God-King's Armored Knights of Death and Destruction and complete AWESOME, and they know no fear too. The Space Knights are fucking STRONG, totally not PUSSIES and often mentally fucking JACKED from the lot of most normal human beings. If you look at a Space Knight you're gonna go all like "HOLY SHIT, FUCK" because they'll wreck your shit if you fuck with them, just keep lookin' nigga.. And you should feel so, for many Space Knights feel little compassion for those they have sometimes termed "fucking PUSSIES" in comparison to themselves, seeing the very people they were created to protect as little more than pieces of pussy ass nigga shit that just get in the fucking way when some giant bugosaur is coming down like RAAAAAAWWWWR and the SPACEK NKNIGT RAISES HIS CHAINSAWD to strike it but the fucking dumbass pussy is all "HELP ME SPACE KNIGHT" and the Space Knight just fucking KICKS THEM IN TEH NUTS . This is an attitude sometimes taken by whole Knight Groups. They see normal humans as frail, weak motherfucking wimps given to the follies of temptation, avarice, greed, lust and cowardice -- all emotions they think are fucking stupid, but they could still totally wreck your mom if they wanted to. Yet there are some Knights who remember why they were created by the King, and that even though you're a fucking pussy, they're still one of you, albeit WAAAAY more badass, but they're less likely to go on a total FUCK THIS SHIT KILLING SPREE. They are the guys who kill all the fucking Space Dragons and defend those weak-ass dudes from getting their shit wrecked, and sometimes to keep them from wrecking each other's shit. At the heart of that mission lies the limitless compassion the Kibng extended to every man and woman in the galaxy when he willingly chose to condemn himself to more than 10,000 years of imprisonment within a prison of endless Sonic the Hedgehog and Megaman Sequels. Potential Space Knights are usually, but not always, recruited from the worlds where a Space Knight Group has established its Kickass Fortress of Badassery , although some Groups are known to recruit from a collection of different worlds in an area of space that they protect or frequent. Recruiting methods vary from Group to Group. Some select their Neophytes from feral tribes roaming the surface of inhospitable worlds, while others draw upon eager volunteers who have been groomed from birth to become a Knight. Still others watch and kidnap potential Knights because YOU'RE GONNA BE A FUCKING SPACE KNIGHT. NO I DOn'T CARE IF YOU WANT TO BE A SPACE WIZARD . Whatever the method, all Space Knight Chapters will only accept those who successfully pass the grueling initiation trials and prove themselves worthy of becoming a Space Man. Once you become a Space Knight you're a fucking badass and like some badasses say "Once you go badass you never go back to goodass" and that's cool as shit. But yeah, you can't not be a Space Knight no matter how hard you try, but why would you? I'm talking in circles now. There are tons of fucking Space Knight Groups in Space History In the distant reaches of the Universe there was a galaxy that had a solar system that had a planet. This planet was called Gaia. Life in this planet was relatively peaceful, but suddenly the place was attacked by Aliens. The Space King mobilized his forces and started a collosal SPACE WAR. However, he needed help and called upon the aid of the rest of the Galaxies various Space Planets. They participated in the space war, but after it was all over the Galaxy was left in ruin. The Space King asked for them to all join in a cooperative union that would unite the galaxy, but a lot of them didn't want to which sparked SPACE WAR 2. It was obvious Space King wasn't going to win with what he had, so he got his remaining allies together and came up with a plan. First they got their best soldiers and basketball players, genetically souped them up to be super huge buff dudes. Then they fed them N O EXPLODE and they got even BIGGER. They kept making them do a bunch of curls and they kept getting super big. Then they gave themAccelerated regeneration and put BONES on their bones. This made them really big. Then they taught them all sorts of Martial Arts and gave them SWORDS and BIG GUNS. Then they finally put them inside huge suits of armor. Category:Bad Asses Category:Awesomes